Storytelling for Week 5: Confession of Amber

Author's note: Based on Amba and Chitra's love stories combined. Decided to take a toll on confession style. It may or may not make sense, due to the fact that this is my first attempt so I apologize in advance. I wish I had more practice in the confession style because now revising it is making me regret even choosing the theme in the first place. I just imagined having to confess a deep secret to a powerful person or God in this case would add depth into the drama but all it did was add confusing. I wasn't trying to convey that God was her mother but I also am not trying to deny it either. I really don't remember where I got the inspiration from in the first place. The story is based on Amba or 'Amber' but I tried to tie in summaries from Chitra in order to make it more intense. Chitra was the one who had the heart to heart with the lord of love which I changed to be her mother, well Amber's. Amber of Amba was tied in by the concept of losing the love of two men at the same time. This story has too many twists and turns to even correct but I hope it made the reader feel some kind of emotion. The story starts as resentful Amber slowly wanders around the forest.

Bibliography:

Chitra:The dialogue between Madana and Chitra is from Chitra by Rabindranath Tagore (1913)

Amba: Myths of the Hindus and Buddhists by Sister Nivedita (1914)

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Are you there God? It’s me. I know I haven’t been that loyal to you and I seek for forgiveness. Mother did always said “A busy life makes prayer harder, but prayer makes a busy life easier.”

Amber was pacing around when she almost stepped on a baby rabbit that was running to the momma rabbit. She gasped in fear that she had crushed the little thing. She picked up the baby rabbit and returned it to his mom and sat down as the mother comforted the baby and hopped away.

Oh, how I miss mother. I miss her silly ways of showing affection. I remember how she would always yell at me for not hugging her in the morning. I knew her anger was always a sign a love to me. Love…such a light word having the deepest of meanings. 

She starts to wander off and finds a nice pond to sit at. She starts throwing small pebbles. She gets mesmerized by the ripples that come after the pebble sinks. 

Love. How it can ruin or mend a relationship. God, are you still there? I feel like love is everywhere I look. Can one be obsessed with love God? I hate what it’s done to me. All I wanted was to be loved. Loved by my family, love returned from the man I love and love from friendships. But I guess I ruined that, huh? Was I on this earth just to be humiliated and used? Can you help me God, I need to know what path to take on next. 

Suddenly she heard a distant echo. She looked up from crying in her hands and she hid behind a tree in fear of seeing someone she knew.

 Picture taken by Mohamad Itani on Flickr.Source

“Amber, you don’t have to hide,” said the mysterious voice.

Who’s there?

“Why, can you not recognize your own mother?”

Amber froze. She was terrified to even open her eyes.

“Amber, sweetheart, you don’t have to be afraid. Just tell me what’s going on with you. I want to help you.”

Amber realized the way she said ‘sweetheart’ was almost too familiar and she burst into tears.

Mom? Why, how?

“No, no. No need to waste time asking silly questions. Now tell me, what’s going on?”

Well, what did you hear?

“Nothing at all. You may start from the beginning if you’d like?”

No, that’ll take too long. I do have something to confess though.

“Go ahead, I’m listening.”

Amber starts to pace back and forth and then takes a deep breath.

I love you mom.

“I know, sweetheart. I love you too.”

I can't have you judging me.

"You know I won't."

Taking a deep breath she starts her confession.

Okay, so there was this guy named Shawn. Mom... I adored him. He was so perfect. Actually, perfect isn't close enough of a description for him. He had every quality I ever wanted in a husband. I told him he would be the only man I'd ever marry and he said the same, except the part where I would be his wife not his-

"Sweetheart, you're rambling again" her mother said in a singing tone.

Oh. Sorry. So, there's Shawn. Then dad introduced me to Brad. Brad was different, Mom. He was very controlling. I was so nervous to tell dad about Shawn so I accepted to meet up with him. He's nice but he's no Shawn. Brad said he knew that I was in love with someone else because he could tell by my eyes. I asked Shawn to come ask for my hand in marriage before Brad does. But that only made Shawn angry. He yelled at me. He was screaming on the top of his lungs. He called me so many names Mom. I told him all we did was talk over lunch but he didn't believe me and told me to never see him again. I came back to confess to Brad and within seconds he got up and curse Dad, saying that I will never be married. But Mom, no one asked who I wanted to get married to. If you were here...

Amber starts to tear up but quickly stops after a gust of wind comforts her.

"Now, now. No need to hold on to the past. So was your confession that you simply loved another man?"

I wish.

Amber looked around seeing if the coast was clear.

I haven't been that honest with you Mom. There's something that no one else knows besides me.

"Well out with it!"

There is another reason why I wanted Shawn to propose so quick. I'm pregnant Mom. 

"Took you long enough Amber"

You know?!

"Of course, I'm your mother. Honestly though, you have to tell your father. I know he won't be happy but I'm sure he won't banish you. As much as I want to say you can do this on your own but you can't."

Yeah, I know... I just wish there was someone who can be by my side through it all.

"You never know what faith has in stored for you sweetheart.You never know..."